Thursday 29 July 2021

Mental Health. Resilience. Are we losing it?

First, Naomi Osaka declined to do press interviews for the French Open. For that she was sanctioned. Which caused her to withdraw from the tournament. That was in June.

Then at the Olympics this month (July 2021), Simone Biles withdrew from an Olympic gymnastic event. 

In both cases, the reason was for their mental health.

Osaka did not like the format of the press conference which could be intimidating or confrontational - at least, from her perspective.

Biles simply said that she was not confident of herself. That she did not trust herself. 

This is the woman who is so good, four moves in gymnastics are named after her.


[This is Katelyn Ohashi (video). She outscored Simone Biles a few years ago. But she left the sports after injury and some incident of body-shaming. ]

So when she says she's not confident, that she doesn't trust herself, it probably means something.

And then in Singapore, a student at River Valley High School killed another student. He had a history of mental issues.

A few years ago, he had tried to kill himself. 

This time, he bought an axe, and used it to kill another student. There does not seem to have been any enmity between him and the victim. So that's still a mystery.

But apparently, after he had attacked the younger boy, he went to the nearest class and ask the students to call the police because he had killed someone.

He was docile and unaggressive by then. When asked by a teacher to put the axe down, he complied.

He killed the boy on the eve of a public holiday. The next day the school was closed for the public holiday. It re-opened the next day. And most of the students returned to school.

And the Director-General of Education took the time to express his admiration for resilience of 97% of the student who returned to school. 

Not sure if he intended to throw shade on the 3% who were not resilient.

Or if the 97% knew they had a choice.

In response to his (IMHO) tone-deaf statement about resilience, some comments were whether the school or the Ministry of Education had raise the possibility of student who might have been traumatised by the events to take a day or two off to deal with their feelings. (You know, instead of forcing them to be "resilient".)

So it was with this recent events that colour my reading of Biles withdrawal from the Olympic event. 

If her mental health was at risk, yeah. It takes courage to ask for help too.

As a non-competitor in sports, the stress and pressure of sporting events or tournaments are alien to me. I am not an athlete or a sportsman. I do not know what pressures the sportsmen and sportswomen experience. 

Are the pressures today worse than in the past? I have not heard of athletes withdrawing from a sporting event in the past for "mental health" reason. 

Perhaps the pressure today is greater.

Perhaps in today's climate of understanding, it's okay to say you need a mental health break, before you snap.

Then there was the story of Yui Ohashi who overcame depression to get the Gold at the Olympics. Which is the storybook ending for mental health challenges.

The effect of public figures (celebrities even) like Osaka, Biles, and Ohashi openly acknowledging their mental health challenges is perhaps a way to open mental health issues to public discourse, and to talking about it without social stigma.

What touched me most in these series of stories was not the Depressed Woman winning Gold at the Olympics (I know! I know! It's "woman with depression". Artistic licence, okay!), but what Chan Chun Sing told reporters two of the friends of the axe murderer (I know! I know! "Alleged Axe Murderer") said to him:

“Amid their pain and their confusion as to what has happened, how it could have happened, two of them told me the same thing separately...They just have one simple request for me. They told me, ‘Minister, please help our friend (the 16-year-old). Please take care of him’"

I do not know the Axe Murderer (Artistic license! And it's more click baity!). But I know that he has (at least) two true friends. 

And these two friends may KNOW that their friend with mental health issues have killed a boy, and they do not know why, and certainly, they cannot understand that, but they do know their friend. Not completely, apparently (but who does?). But they do know he is a human being, that he has problems. That he struggles with those problems. 

And he is their friend. 

The death at River Valley High School is a complex, complicated incident. We grieve for the young boy who lost his life. We grieve with the parents and family. But we also recognise that the perpetrator is a troubled boy struggling with personal demons. There is no good guy-bad guy dichotomy here. (Except for the "victim". I don't know him, but I am sure he did not deserved to die at the hands of an Axe Murderer (Artistic Licence!)

And in the days following the death, there have been questions about whether the pressures to do well in school is unhealthy for our children. And whether there should be better monitoring. And whether we should be more open about talking about mental health issues and not have social stigma about it. And how we should give the students time to come to terms with the trauma.

All good points.

[3 Aug: A few days ago, there was a news article questioning whether our schools provision for mental health was adequate. In particular, how good are the school counsellors? Most of the comments suggests that the school counsellors may not be prepared for the more intense cases.

Then this comment:

I don't know any school counsellors. I don't know how seriously they take their job. I do not know what are the pressures, stressors and difficulties of being a school counsellor. I do not know how committed and passionate these school counsellors are about their job, the students they are supposed to care for, and how well trained they are to do the job they are supposed to do. I do not know if they are talented, or if they are suited for the job. I do not know if they are approachable, personable, or are able to connect to the students who may approach them. And even if there are one or two or a lot of school counsellors who are fantastic, I do not know if one of these passionate, capable school counsellors is at MY child's school and can help my child if my child reaches out to them.

But I know my child. I know myself. I know I care and how much. I know when my child is happy. I know when my child is upset. Or worried. Or stressed. And if my child is uncomfortable talking to me, there's my wife. And if my wife is not the right person, I WILL find someone to help my child.

Or I can hope that there's a capable, competent counsellor assigned to my child's school, and my child is comfortable talking to the counsellor, and the counsellor has the knowledge, experience, passion, talent, skills and empathy to help my child. I mean, the counsellor has to look after a WHOLE school or students. I'm sure he or she is not TOO overworked. That's just a whole lot of on-the-job experience.

I'm sure it's fine to "trust the process" and "trust the system to work", but I'm old school. When I was in school, there was no school counsellors. I'm sure they are necessary and good. But I'm a hands-on kinda guy. 

My child. My problem.

Yeah, sure. Sometimes children don't want to talk to parents. I'll find someone my child will talk to. If the school counsellor works out for my child, GREAT!
I consider it a bonus that an over-worked civil servant is able to connect with my child!
]



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