Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Conversation - How to be The Real Singapore

"These two buggers really know how to play the system, man!"


"The couple who ran that website, 'The Real Singapore'. Blardy clever! Can earn half a million dollars in less than 2 years. And now, still can play out the Singapore Government, man!"

"They can play, but they already caught and charge in court. The girl even plead guilty and sentenced to 10 months."

"And we goondu. That is EXACTLY what they want!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Why do you think one plead guilty, one claim trial? It is all part of their plan!"

"What plan?"

"If both of them pleaded guilty, or both claimed trial, then when the court find them guilty, they both will be sentenced at the same time, and will go to jail at the same time. Then who will run their Ramen shop and look after the parents."

"Ah... I see. Like that, she plead guilty, goes jail first, then he claims trial and try to drag out the case, then by then time the trial is over, she would be out. I understand. Good plan."

"You understand only a little bit lah! Their full plan is even more tok kong! The woman is now pregnant."

"Ya. I read about that. So sad. The baby may be born in prison."

"Sad? It's all part of their plan! She WANTS to deliver in prison. And actually, not prison. She would be in Prison Hospital. She's two months pregnant now. If she outside, she have to pay full fees because she fallen talent. But in prison, her medical checkups and treatment will all be covered by gumment! She tann tio, man!"

"But cannot be what! How can like that?"

"You never read papers ah? In Japan, old Japanese are stealing things hoping they would get caught and sent to prison where they will have food, a place to sleep, and free medical. If these old Japanese can think like this, why not this young Japanese woman, huh?"

"But maybe it is just a coincidence that she is pregnant at this time? No one would want to have their baby in prison right?"

"Maybe. But look at the timing. She is 2 months pregnant when she was sentenced to 10 months prison. With "discount" for 10 months, she will only serve about 2/3 - less than 7 months. Which means that there is a possibility that she could be released before her delivery! So she asked for her sentence to start ONE MONTH LATER. Her story is that she needs to settle some things for the ramen  shop and care for her in-law. Excuse me? Her husband is outside! What is he? Gor-block, ah? Cannot settle the shop and the care of his own parents? So she tahan the start of her sentence by ONE month, she would be 3 months pregnant when she goes to prison and she will be released in less than 7 months, by then she sure to have delivered. In the prison hospital. Where all the maternity bills will be paid by the gumment. Also all the medical checkups and vitamins, and better food for the baby. We kenna played by them, lah!"

"You seem to have given this a lot of thought. And I cannot find any flaw in your argument."

"Eh. I am an old conman. I can smell a con one. This two very jiow hua. After conning Singaporeans, after conning advertisers, now they can even con the gumment. Pei foo! Pei foo!"

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