Monday, 16 May 2016

Overheard: Lightning strikes MRT tracks.


"Ok. Make a note. We use the "struck by lightning" excuse this time. Cannot use again for at least 5 years. People won't believe it if we say struck by lightning TWICE within a short span of time. What is the next excuse on the list?" 
"Er... 'hit by meteorite', sir." 
"WHAT? Who's going to believe that?!?"
"This was added to the list after the incident in India earlier this year." 
"What about 'Car on MRT track'? We haven't used that for some time." 
"Er, sir. That was a real incident. more than 10 years ago. And it would require physical evidence of a car, a car-size hole in the fence, and ancillary evidence of collateral damage. I believe senior management assessed the incident for inclusion in the official list of excuses and decided that it would be too expensive to fake." 
"Okay, how about 'Motorcycle on track'?" 
"We used a variation on that last year. It was 'body on track'. The story was the motorcyclist was in an accident, and on collision was flung onto the tracks. So no other collateral damage, and we quickly covered the 'body' so no one could take photos. It was quite well executed. Kept within budget, sir." 
"Fine. What's after Meteorite Strike?" 
"Oh sorry sir. I made a mistake. I missed a few. 'Meteorite Strike' will be 3 excuses later. The next few excuses will be going back to the standard, 'Power fault', 'Track fault' and 'Signalling malfunction'." 
"Aiyoh! Those excuses sure kenna hantum by the public. We need more creative and sympathetic excuses!" 
"Well, we are planning to use, 'Tunnel flooded' sometime in the near future, but that needs to be timed with heavy rains. 'Tunnel debris' can be paired with that. " 
"What about the inspiration from Malaysia?" 
"You mean the 'Mass Hysteria' excuse?" 
"Ya. Are we using that soon?" 
"Senior management decided against it. The problem with mass hysteria is that it affects highly suggestible individuals. We may start out with a few 'actors' pretending to be 'possessed', but this may trigger off other people who are highly susceptible to suggestion. And then there would be no way to stop it, and rumours about the MRT being haunted will be bad for business."

No comments: