Friday, 27 March 2015


Press release from PMO on 23 Mar at 3:20 am:

"At 3:18 am, Mr Lee Kuan Yew's condition was permanently stabilised."


PM Lee declares seven days of holiday. However, he spells "holiday", M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G.


Q: Why did thousands of people queue up to see LKY lying in state?
A: They heard on the internet that LKY has died.
Q: So they have come to pay their respects?
A: No. You can't trust anything you read on the internet. They are confirming the fact personally. Some things are too important to trust the internet.


Singapore Pools will suspend all retail outlets this Sunday as a mark of respect. I think it's a mistake. Singapore Pools is basically selling Hope. With LKY gone, the people need Hope more than ever!


Dr Mahathir will not be attending the funeral. On the one hand, he wants to see and confirm personally that LKY is dead. But he would be required to say nice things about him, and he doesn't want to... Now he is upset that he didn't think to die first so LKY will have to say nice things about him... but knowing LKY, he might not have said anything nice. Or at all... So... on the whole it is a good thing (from Dr M's perspective) that LKY died first and Dr M can snub him by not attending his funeral.


SMRT was told to run their trains 24 hours to provide the transport for the thousands of people who want to pay their last respects. The note to the SMRT was: "The trains or your heads, one of them will roll."

SMRT subsequently arranged for night buses as their trains could not run 24 hours without maintenance. (and they didn't want their heads to roll).


Two social media initiatives - one "Wear Black", one "Wear White" on Sunday had started.

Great! More alternatives to the Wear Pink. Thank you Lawrence Khong!


Suggestion: Join the Queue with a friend and start talking loudly about how this year's NDP must be DEM good man to have so many people queuing for the tickets. After all it is SG 50th NDP so of course it will be spectacular. When others in the queue correct you and tell you this is the queue to pay your last respects to LKY, tell them THEY are wrong, it IS the queue for NDP tickets.

(at worst, you confuse them for a while. At best they leave the queue and your queue is a little shorter.)

------------ Update 1 -------

Dictators and their governments in the world are watching. SG has set a new standard. Next time a dictator in North Korea (we're looking at you, Fat Boy!) dies, the authorities will require the populace to queue overnight for 8 hours to pay their respect to show their love for their "Dear Leader".

Sorry North Koreans! We didn't mean to cause you trouble!

---------- Update 2 ---------

There is a saying, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

LKY says:

1) Keep your friends close and your enemies bankrupt
2) Keep your friends close and your ene- ... what enemies?
3) Keep your friends... what friends?

------- Addendum 3 ----------

New catch phrase: "You gotta start thinking out of the Red Box!"

Q: What does LKY keep in his Red Box?

A: Chewing Gum
B: Banana
C: An unopened pack of cigarettes from 1965
D: Beer
E: His CPF money he withdrew when he turned 55
F: A sharp hatchet
G: Knuckledusters
H: Sodium Amytal

(Post Mourning. Mourning after?)

------- Addendum 4 -----------

Easter Sunday: Christ is Risen!
PTC: So has bus fares!
So what hasn't risen?
Our pay!
Since LKY died, our pay hasn't risen! These are dark times...

You know what else hasn't risen? LKY.
I bet Mahathir would be relieved...

BUT... he was cremated... kinda hard to rise from ashes... If Jesus had been cremated... On Easter Sunday he would be a cloud of ash...

So if there is any inexplicable haze over Singapore (no burning in Indonesia and no other countries affected by haze...

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