Friday, 10 March 2017

Lady Liberty and the Merlion

So the US has the Statue of Liberty, with the Torch, and the words,

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Image result for “Give me your tired your poor your huddled masses

Singapore has the Merlion. Spitting water.

We need some words to go with it.

Here are my top ten suggestions. Heeeere we go:

#10 "Foreigners? *Hawwwk. Pui!*"

#9 "Water is precious? Hah! I spit on that!"

#8 "Chicken Rice! Char Kway Teow! Nasi Lemak! Roti Prata! Just thinking about the food here makes my mouth water! (No lah! I'm not spitting!)"

#7 "Donald Trump? *haaarrrrkkkk!* *pui!*

#6 "Send me your poor, your illiterate, the wretched refuse of your unemployed yearning to be our maids and construction workers. Send these, with the proper documentation and work permits of course, to me."

#5 "My legs! My legs! Where are my fucking legs?"

#4 "The next person who asks me if my fish head was made into curry....*haarrrkkk!* -- "

#3 "Regardless of race, language or religion... Or Merlion. We all spit. That's what makes us Singaporeans. And oso Singlish, lah!"

#2 "You do realise that I am just a Tourism Board's marketing gimmick and do not represent any high ideals or principles, and comparing me to the Statue of Liberty is like comparing Ronald McDonald to... well... the Statue of Liberty?"

And.... <drumroll>  the number one suggestion for words to go with the Merlion...

 "No Spitting. Fine $1000"

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